Stars: 5
Subject: Almost gave 3 stars for as many degree burns as it gave my mouth hole
Review: Can we please start selling these with a warning? Some sort of red alert label stuck to the cover you must see and acknowledge before breaking the seal? How many countless drinking vessels have we encountered in a lifetime that conditioned us to believe that heat retaining technology doesn't exist for civilians? Satan's canteen here is no joke. It was a late summer morning. I boiled some water for tea and decided I was going to take the long way to work. I let that devil mug ride in my car's cup holder for almost an hour before I remembered it and went for what surely was to be a swig of lukewarm hibiscus flavored water. SIKE. BURN TOWN, BABY. HOPE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TASTE ANYTHING FOR A MONTH. How many holiday gifted, off-brand, company logo bedazzled, hot/cold thermoses do we have sitting in our cupboards at this very moment that can't hold a degree for five minutes? And then Klean Kanteen walks up in here, all in its "fun" colors and cute alliteration, and we're supposed to take it seriously? WELL YOU BEST BE DOING SO. It's been MONTHS now later and I still can't taste sour things correctly, it's like a blind spot on my tongue. Seekers of warm beverage vessels, HEED MY WARNING. The Klean Kanteen will be the only witness as pure lava disintegrates your esophagus while you flail and claw at your chest and throat, eventually grabbing onto the back of a chair and praying to your god for mercy.
Overall, dank thermos, just remember to let your coffee sit for 5 hours first.
It takes some creative superpowers to write an Amazon review like this. Thank goodness people have been warned about this devil mug!
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