I understand it’s ridiculous to be angry at the contract I signed. I know I have no right. I raised a large breed dog who experienced large breed dog problems and passed in a large breed dog way. I saw the path ahead, read the entire thing cover to cover, including the ending, and signed. Still, mercy is a mean card dealt to the one who administers it. We know it’s coming from the start, it’s written right there. But we forget about it for a decade or so until realizing, too late, that the warranty ran out. But them’s the brakes, right?
I fear I stuffed a
hole in my heart and might not have been ready. I worry
that I haven’t honored their memory and joy they brought before filling
their home. But it wasn’t a home for me
without something to worry about. All the time in the world isn’t helpful if
there’s nothing to do. I don’t think I can stand my own company, so I enlisted
two others who would. And, I know I just
signed short-term lease that is possibly month to month. Maybe I think this
will absolve me of the betrayal of the first two by caring for two others. But I don’t like to think about that too much. When I saw their picture I
knew they were mine. So I went and got them.
And I hope that’s alright.
