Boat for Sale.

I tried to sell our boat on craiglist.  It got flagged and taken down.

Don't adjust your polarized Oakleys - this boat is FOR REAL. Imagine you and your bros (or hauxs) on this Sea Ray of freakin' sunshine. Born in 1993, an excellent boat vintage year, by the way -  the color scheme is like a 90s dixie cup, and she drives like one too!

AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS with things like the radio, the steering wheel, and the table that turns into a super uncomfortable bed (ooooo ahhhh!).  Test your relationships as you scream at your boat guests to assist you with putting in, pulling out, and all the various other annoying tasks associated with boat ownership!  Can't wait to get on the lake?  WELL YOU'RE GONNA.

This baby comes with all accessories like the flamingo lights and the stick-on cup holders...actually we're keeping the lights, Wal-Mart just doesn't give those things away, you know.  We will leave you with the (faux) Little Trees Air Freshener and the boat hook (spoiler alert, it'll collapse on you just when you need it most and test how close your marriage is to divorce when you try and dock!)

We never changed the name because an old timey captain said it was bad luck, but in our hearts we named it "Hall and Boats" and the trailer goes by "Totes My Boats" - we'll need you to contractually agree to keep these names.

Bonus:  Sh*tter's never been used!  You can be the first to drop anchor on this bad boy!